Look romantic up in the dictionary and there ye shall find me.
What makes someone so excessively romantic that they can only be described as the ultimate epitome of it?
It could be the propensity for affection.
The craving for love.
The idealism.
In fact, it’s most likely all three.
Add to that an extravagant dreamer nature, a happy-go-lucky disposition, and a slight naïveté, and boom, you’ve got yourself a romantic.
I know, because I am one.
I am the ultimate romantic.
Where it all began
The signs were all there.
A vivid imagination, endless tears, a longing to write, and forever lost in an imaginary world.
As a child, there was nothing I loved more than to make up stories, play with dolls, design clothes, and forget time with my nose in a book.
As a teen, I developed an unhealthy obsession with Audrey Hepburn, Coco Chanel, Cher Horowitz, and Blair Waldorf. Glorifying the lives of women surrounded by beauty, extravagance, devastation, and drama.
While some children grow out of fairytales, I was always in search of my own.
And the funny thing is, I was completely clueless.
Pun intended.
Fighting fate
I pride myself on being extremely self-aware.
But for the first three decades of my life, I was less so.
In fact, I thought I knew better. Lol. I thought I had a say.
The ambitious little teen I was, I fought against my will. I thought the corporate, big city life was for me.
I thought I needed to be someone, prove something. And I thought I needed to perform, achieve, and ‘make it’ in order to be worth something.
It’s a story we see all too often.
I tried to be tough. Oh, the irony.
I am the exact opposite of tough. I’m as sensitive as they come. I’d even go as far as saying I’m the most sensitive person in the world.
I cry at everything, feel everything, and care too much.
And that’s what makes me who I am.
It’s what makes me so nurturing and creative. I’m proud of my nature.
But back then, I tried so hard to rebel against it.
I bet you can guess just how well that went!
Life in the authentic lane
It wasn’t until I was firmly in my thirties that I just let myself be.
I stopped fighting against my sensitive, dreamy, romantic nature and dived wholeheartedly into it.
While there were also various external factors that enabled this to happen, I finally felt comfortable enough to let down my walls, take off my armour, and accept my fate as an OG lover girl.
Embracing who I really was changed everything.
My entire reality looked and felt a whole lot different.
I have an affinity for romanticising everything. Celebrating the smallest things, making the everyday feel extraordinary, and personifying joie de vivre.
I now live in a world where that leads. Thrives.
And it feels good.
There will always be parts of myself I keep locked away (hello ultra-private INFJ with an awful doorslam ), parts of myself I overanalyse and criticize. But insecurity and self-doubt are very much part and parcel of being a romantic.
I’m human after all.
But being me, this me, is the best me I’ve ever been!
Do you have any romantic tendencies? Have you ever felt you had to be something you weren’t to fit in, get ahead, or be happy?